if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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