If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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