We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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