Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
