pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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