Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
