THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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