just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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