She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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