final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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