I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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