He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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