woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
