She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
