Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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