Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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