i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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