I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My liver just had a heart attack.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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