she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ugly people sure do ruin things
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
