so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
