Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
