I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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