I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
