I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
