dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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