Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
These tits shall not be calmed
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