Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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