I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize