Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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