When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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