you would pick up someone in the library
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
