Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
