also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
