I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want her autograph on my taint
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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