seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
