I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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