Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ttyl tear gas
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
50% drunk capacity currently
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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