Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
