what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
