What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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