I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dear god my vagina.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
