carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
