I'm really into asian looking animals
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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