So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
