why didn't you poke me back
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
