dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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