I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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