Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
