I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize