Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
