dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
