Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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