I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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