should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
