Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
