If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
